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My Brother
January 26th, 2000


	My younger brother is not exactly an easy person to deal with.  All of my family
tends to be very independent, and if someone were to randomly pick two people
out of the pool of my nuclear family, there would be a good chance that the
two picked would be at odds with each other at the time.  My brother, however,
is in a slightly different situation from the rest of us.  He is the youngest,
and is therefore not accorded the same wariness that is shown in the wide space
that we give to each other.  More importantly, he is going through the begining
of his adolescent stage.
	Lately, and most likely due to this transition, he has taken to feeling things
more strongly, knowing things more completely, and wanting things more vhenemently.
 A description is, of course, in order.
	The thing that I think of most in him is his stare.  He has one kind of look,
a distainful, disgusted look, that conveys his utter abhorence of whatever he
turns it on.  This is amplified by his steel-gray/green eyes, which have a certain
cold clarity about them.  The brightness of his eyes is muted, to a certain
extent, by his deathly pale face.  His hair is completely straight, though often
sticking out in random directions, oblivious to the dicipline of a brush.  With
unmanageable bangs in the front and the back tapering down to fuzzy short hair,
he often tends to look as if he has just arisen [as likely as not, this is true].
 It's brown strands stand especially at attention when he periodically wets
his hair.
	Of late, he has taken to wearing a dark-green cargo jacket that has many pockets
and buttons in all  of the available locations, which was mine not long ago.
 It has more zippered pockets and buttons in strange places than anyone could
ever need.  It was long on me, so my image of him in my mind is of someone who
looks to be in a green pocketed straight jacket with a large collar, sleeves
hanging past and covering up his whole arm.  Often, when he walks, his sleeves
flap slightly back and forth.  When his hands do extend past the end of the
sleeves, the contrast between the dark green of the jacket and the white of
his hands is very obvious.
	The fact that his feet and hands are both large in relation to the rest of
his body,  and  his thin, tall figure make him look older than reality, at first
glance.  All of his features combine with his gaunt, angular face to make him
look to a slight degree like the victim of starvation.
	This fact seems to worry my mother, and she always nags him about eating more.
 It often becomes a contest of wills between them to try to get him to eat.
 When he was younger, I remember that he would take over-large portions of the
dinner, and then later would refuse to eat some of the food.  This challenge
to my mother was invariably met by the command "sit there and eat your dinner".
 To which he would comply in half, sitting there for hours to avoid eating it.

	One time that I remember quite vividly, happened a few years ago in the middle
of the Summer.   My brother and I woke, got dressed, and began to have our breakfast
of cereal.  It was some kind of "honey" coated Cheerios which he decided to
have that morning, and we were soon on our way to our other buisness.
	However, to our detriment, my mother discovered upon the table an unfinished,
full bowl of these cheerios.  My brother, when confronted with the cereal, flatly
refused to partake of his handiwork.  Of course, our day was ruined.  Not only
that, but eventually, my mother convinced me to join the crusade to get him
to eat.  A side responsibility of the post turned out to be helping her eat
the cereal, in order to show him that it really wasn't poisonous.  	Unfortunately,
this basic premise was quite unfounded.  The Honey Cheerios had been sitting
in their bowl of milk for over an hour.  The whole bowl had become a glop of
mushy Cheerios and milk.  The instant that I put this gruel in my mouth, I regretted
it.  It was slimy and disgusting mush, and made me want to run to the bathroom
and throw up in the toilet.  My brother seemed to enjoy watching us slowly eat
the Cheerios, and I forced myself to keep a beatific face all the while that
I would rather have been washing my mouth out with soap.  Of course, after the
first bite, I continued only in hopes of convincing him to share in the punishment.
 After this incident, he continued upon his thorny little path, but I remembered
this, and never copied his actions.
	He always seemed to get away with things that I could never get away with,
though often, I didn't wish to follow his example.
	In some ways he is stubborn and unrepenting, but then too, he's sometimes mature
beyond his years.  He always would try to imitate me when he was younger, and
I like to think that mainly for this reason, he began to read larger novels
and such.  Mainly, his maturity stemmed from his intelligence.  He will sometimes
show insight into a problem that belies his age.  He stayed reasonably calm
and collected when he was alone and accidently cut himself upon a smashed window
pane in our glass frame door.  He tied his hand up in bandage cloth, then went
to find my mother.  Luckily, the cut was superficial.
	He's a very active and ambitious person, at least one way that he is opposite
me.  Whenever he wants something he tends to focus himself upon it to exclusion
of all else.
It seems sometimes that he reaches the state of a sugar high without the benefit
of sugar.
But then, there is the other side of the coin, because I swear that without
me, that boy would not even know what the word patience meant, much less how
to practice such.


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